My sweet child,

It seems that, no matter how hard you try to avoid bullshit, bullshit finds a way to come your way. Now, I know you do not go looking for it - like a teenage girl who looks for drama. It just comes your way. Maybe, somehow, you have a radar, and it finds you. Have you ever had the feeling, deep down inside your mind that tells you to run away? Run away, change name, change city and start brand new? Yeah, so have I.

You may be young, however, your age does not define your mind. Your mind is the decision maker, the one in charge. But, sometimes, the heart decides to jump in. And, although it may have good intentions; it leads you in the wrong path. It does not know right from wrong - the good, the bad. It only knows love. And sometimes, as awful as it may sound, that love is bad. It is evil. It is unkind. It is not real; something you must get used to. No matter how many times you feel it coming back, the tug, the call that changes it all. It is not what you want, or what you need. He is not the one, he is not himself. Those endless phone calls of, "I love you, I need you. I know I messed up, but I want this to work; I want us to work"- is, bullshit. But you keep going back. Why? Why do you do this to yourself? For one last chance, that chance that might change it? Or the fear of being alone?

I know how you feel, that feeling you get when his name appears in your mind. The tears that automatically flow out of your beautiful eyes. The exhausted expression on your face, looking for answers. I've seen you walk down the same street, day in and day out. It's so clear to see, you're an open book. You walk as if you are walking into the unknown - and you are vicariously living through some one else; someone else but yourself. You are your own subject of this facade you are imagining. You are mimicking a person you wish you could be. You are at a constant battle with yourself, to change - for the worse. You wish you could be someone who stands up, and refuses to deal with others. You do not want to be considered a sweet girl, but a mean girl. Why? Is it because you let people take advantage of you, and you let people take what they want? You never really judge, and you never nag. You make it possible so that the other person has no troubles, no worries, no fears. But, baby, you are left with your own. You make their life so much easier to live, but yours so much more difficult to live with. You constantly build that wall higher, to the point where it is unreachable. You want to be unreachable, unapproachable. For you to avoid the possible anguish that may come your way. You push people away, block them out. You never allow second chances, for the fear of past experiences. The first time you granted a second chance, it fell apart quicker than you could ask yourself what happened. Sweet child, you show a tough exterior, make people believe you are a girl who simply does not seem to care. But, you do. Deep down, really deep down, you do care. And, it drives you insane thinking and caring about someone who just does not return the feeling. You have done everything possible to make yourself available, you constantly go out of your way to make that person feel loved, and cared for but the return was irrelevant. Anguish, pain, and broken hearts. Darling, you are a mystery yet to be solved. However, to me, you have been solved. And soon enough, a time will approach when someone of importance will solve the puzzle you have created of your life.

My sweet child, it is ok to cry. You are no less of a person because of those tears you seem to produce every night. A time will arrive, when your pillow will be able to go through two days without being cried on. You will finally be able to sleep in peace. That day will arrive before you have noticed it was missing. Do you worry about that simple fact? About being alone, and feeling this for the rest of your days? I grasp this situation, and I raise you love.

Forever there,

A