Afraid,

I AM afraid. I will admit it. I am afraid of the fact that you can get up and walk away any moment you feel that this is more difficult than it should be. I am starting to get used to you in my life, and used to your many texts throughout the day. We have been friends for over a year, and now it has become something more. I am not asking you to be my boyfriend, because I am not ready for that. We have never spoken about what our relationship really is, and where you want it to lead. I will never bring that up mainly for the fact that I refuse to let you think of me as a pushy and clingy girl that I am not. But one thing that I will admit, is that I am afraid of you. I am afraid of us becoming more and having a chance of losing you. I am so used to seeing people walk away and I do not want you to be one of them. So, I will continue this relationship of the unknown, just to prevent from seeing you walk away.

xx

Always,

THIS was drawn by Peyton Sawyer (Hilarie Burton) on the T.V show "One Tree Hill." I first saw this years ago and I loved it, it meant more than a simple picture. But now, seeing it again after so many years, and so many experiences, it means even more. I relate more to Payton now, because I have felt what she felt. And I truly believe what is written on this photo. It speaks to me like never before. It shines a ray of light on me, it tells me something that no one has ever told me. It tells me that no matter what happens, regardless how long you have been fighting for, or how tight you have been gripping on, it is much easier to simply let go than to continue on fighting. 

When I think about the past 7 years, so much has happened. I have lost so many people in my life, they simply walk out and never to be seen again. It keeps happening to this day. Many of those people come back into my life and tell me how sweet I am, how much they regret what happened and that they want me back into their life. But, why must someone appreciate the other once they go missing? Why must someone realize what they have until they lose it? It’s funny how that works… 

xx

Forever,

xx